As another academic year draws to a close, you might find yourself reflecting on how far your child has come, or worrying about where they “should” be. For many parents of children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND), this time of year comes with a mix of emotions: pride, relief, anxiety and for some, worries that their child is “falling behind”.
But we want you to remember:
Your child is not behind
They are not broken
They are not a problem to be fixed or rushed
Their progress is not a race. And the idea that they need to “catch up” is often based on an outdated understanding of learning that ignores the complexity of brain development, individual needs and the diverse ways children grow, change and develop.
“Falling Behind” According to Who?
It is important to first question the idea of “catching up” and where those standards come from. Who decides where children should be by a certain age? In the UK, the National Curriculum outlines expected levels of attainment by age group, but these are averages not prescriptions.
A study by Blair & Raver (2015) on school readiness emphasises that emotional regulation, working memory and attention, all essential skills for learning, develop at hugely different rates between children. A 7-year-old with slower language processing isn’t behind; they’re developing according to their own timeline.
The Brain Doesn’t Grow in a Straight Line
Child development is more like popcorn than dominoes. All kernels get the same heat, but they don’t pop at the same time.
Neuroscience research supports this. The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for planning, impulse control, emotional regulation and attention, matures gradually and at different rates (Casey et al., 2005; Giedd et al., 1999).
For many neurodivergent children, especially those with dyslexia, ADHD or autism and other learning differences, this maturation often happens out of sync with the timelines set by mainstream education.
The Hidden Cost of the “Catch-Up” Narrative
When a child is told that they’re behind, it impacts so much more than just their academic confidence. And that happens both directly and indirectly. Even if a teacher isn’t telling a child they’re behind, classes are often streamed according to ability and children are naturally aware of where they sit among their peers, not to mention the additional pressure caused by formal exams and testing.
Studies have shown that children who experience frequent academic failure are more likely to develop performance anxiety, low self-worth and a fixed mindset (Dweck, 2006). This is even more profound in children with SEND, who are already navigating additional challenges in sensory processing, emotional regulation or social understanding.
The pressure to catch-up can:
Shut down natural curiosity
Erode motivation
Turn school into a place of fear rather than growth
And yet, academic success is often not the best predictor of long-term outcomes.
The Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Study (Moffitt et al. 2011) followed children from early life into adulthood and found that self-regulation, emotional wellbeing and persistence were more strongly linked to life success than early academic achievement.
Readiness instead of repair
At Toucan, we focus on the principle of Foundations First. We meet children where they are developmentally, emotionally and neurologically.
A child who’s struggling with handwriting for example, doesn’t need to complete hours of traditional handwriting drills, they need gross motor strengthening, finger dexterity games and fun, low pressure opportunities to develop control and coordination. A dyslexic child who hasn’t mastered phonics at age 8 might benefit more from multisensory literacy, oral storytelling, OT support or assistive tech than from more phonics worksheets. The British Dyslexia Association (BDA) states that pushing traditional interventions without adaptation can cause more harm than good if readiness isn’t established.
The non-linear nature of progress
Progress rarely moves in a straight line, especially for neurodivergent learners. One week they can be reading a book independently. The next, they can’t manage a sentence. This doesn’t mean a child has stopped learning, or is losing skills, it’s part of a complex learning curve.
A 2020 study in Child Development by Kim et al. found that children with ADHD and learning differences often show spurts of academic growth followed by plateaus. This is a reflection of cognitive fatigue, variable executive function and sensory processing demands.
That’s why at Toucan, we use holistic measures of progress alongside academic achievement. We also look at:
Improved confidence
Increased verbal contribution
Improvement in regulation and behaviour
Independent initiation of tasks
Emotional safety and relationships with peers
These milestones are important because we find that they then pave the way for increased academic progress.
Why the Summer Holidays Aren’t a Time to Catch Up Either
As we head into summer, it can be tempting to use some of the time for tuition, catch-up sessions or extra academic work. And while some hidden learning is beneficial, regulation is also key.
Often for many neurodivergent children, what they need is a LOT of rest.
Sadly for many SEND kids, burnout is a reality and we see it often at Toucan. Neurodivergent learners are using more cognitive effort than their peers just to stay regulated and participate during the school day. A study from the University of Ghent (2021) found that autistic children are significantly more likely to show signs of autistic burnout due to ongoing masking and stress.
We recommend a summer that includes a combination of;
Play-based learning
Brain breaks and boredom
Unstructured time to follow interests
Opportunities for connection, storytelling and imagination
Sensory-friendly days to decompress
Let children rest and build resilience over the summer break. Let them come back in September with their cups full.
Rethinking Success for Neurodivergent Kids
It can be helpful to redefine your ideas of success, because as parents and carers we have our own fixed ideas about what that might look like.
At Toucan, we also measure success by how safe children feel, by how willing they are to try, by whether they’re starting to see themselves as capable, not in comparison to others, but in terms of their own ability and potential.
If children are struggling in any way, it doesn’t mean they’re falling behind, it signifies a change in approach is needed. A change in the way they are supported or a change in environment but most of all they need freedom to grow in their own way.
One Size Does Not Fit All
It is clear that more individualised, flexible and emotionally safe learning environments lead to better outcomes, especially for SEND kids whether that is within mainsream education or in addition to.
The Universal Design for Learning (UDL) framework, supported by CAST (2018) and grounded in cognitive neuroscience, shows that offering multiple ways to engage, express and access information is essential for diverse learners.
So….
If you’ve been worrying that your child isn’t “where they should be”
If you’ve been watching their peers zoom ahead and worrying that something’s wrong
If you’ve been sitting in meetings hearing the word “behind”
Please remember; your child is still learning and growing. Their journey is not over, they still have so much to learn and so much potential to fulfil. And you’re doing brilliantly.
Need more support?
At Toucan Education, we offer specialist SEND support and alternative provision tailored to each child. From trauma-informed teaching to sensory-friendly environments and bespoke literacy pathways, everything we do is built on the belief that all children deserve to reach their full potential. To find out more about our flexi schools in Newcastle and Gateshead, click here.
Visit our socials for more resources on supporting your child during the summer and download our FREE Summer Slide guide.
Further Reading & Sources
Blair, C. & Raver, C. C. (2015). School Readiness and Self-Regulation: A Developmental Psychobiological Approach. Annual Review of Psychology.
Casey, B. J., Tottenham, N., Liston, C., & Durston, S. (2005). Imaging the developing brain. Trends in Cognitive Sciences.
Giedd, J. N. et al. (1999). Brain development during childhood and adolescence: a longitudinal MRI study. Nature Neuroscience.
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
Moffitt, T. E. et al. (2011). A gradient of childhood self-control predicts health, wealth, and public safety. PNAS.
CAST (2018). Universal Design for Learning Guidelines.
Kim, S., Nordahl, C. W., et al. (2020). Variability in academic growth trajectories in children with ADHD and LD. Child Development.
BDA – British Dyslexia Association. (2021). Dyslexia Guidance for Schools.
University of Ghent (2021). Autistic Burnout: A Research Summary.
Kirby, A. (2020). The Hidden Half: Overlapping Neurodiverse Profiles in the Classroom.