Understanding and acceptance of dyslexia has changed a lot over the years, but many adults who come to Toucan for an assessment say they felt inadequate in school. Many refer to being called ‘stupid’ or ‘thick’ by teachers. They report receiving no help or support and just learned to ‘get on with it’. Those that went to university did not find it a fun experience. They worked hard, didn’t go out much or engage in university life. Yet still found themselves lacking or not achieving in line with the input they were giving.
Often the adults who come for assessment are outwardly successful but suffer self-doubt and stress. A doctor for example struggles to keep up with notes in the fast turnaround between appointments. A police officer is asked in a ‘rapid fire’ manner about a situation and feels they can’t process the information quick enough – therefore feeling they give wrong information. A highly qualified health and safety officer can’t pass a final exam as they can’t remember all the facts.
Those with families feel self-doubt when supporting their children with homework. They struggle with home organisation and can feel overwhelmed with the logistics of ‘life admin’ as well as succeeding in a full-time job.
An adult with dyslexia has often worked extremely hard. They are dedicated individuals who are very hard on themselves. Often by the time they come to an assessment they have convinced themselves that if they’re not dyslexic, they aren’t very clever. The term they often use sadly is ‘thick’. A diagnosis of dyslexia can bring relief and reassurance but it can also cause other emotions. The total relief of knowing can quickly turn into anger or frustration that there has been such a long path without support.
The embarrassment of having dyslexia is also prevalent. Many have self-funded to hide a potential diagnosis from employers in case it raises doubt that they can still do their job properly. They are worried about loss of employment, and it is hard to convince them that they are entitled to reasonable adjustments.
Reasonable adjustments at work
Under the Equality Act, it is expected by law that companies will make reasonable adjustments to support a person with dyslexia to do their job to the best of their ability. Reasonable adjustments can include some of the following:
- Use of technology such as dragon dictate or voice to text software, Grammarly, scanning apps and accessibility, electronics notebooks
- Headphones, quiet room
- Advance warning for meetings, bullet points or agenda for meetings in advance, notes sent after meeting. Online meetings recorded to rewatch
- Flexible working hours – break times encouraged
Dyslexia is often overlooked or poorly understood by employers who may not be aware of the indicators. The fact that many adult dyslexics will often feel shame or inferiority in the workplace and as such, become adept at disguising or hiding the problem doesn’t help.
As mentioned earlier, adults with dyslexia have often had a difficult passage. At Toucan, we can tell them the reasons why they have found life so hard but we can’t undo the stress, sadness and anxiety they have felt over the years. Many are like a swan – they seem to be gliding well through life, often very successful and hardworking, compassionate people. But below the surface, they are paddling fast and hard. Feelings of shame and failure running a narrative in their heads of not being good enough, compounded by teachers telling them so.
Those that have managed to stay confident, have held on to something like a hobby or skill or interest such as acting, music or sport. They have created a life in which reading and writing is not dominant – they don’t need it to succeed and have self-worth. However, most people will have a negative story in which they were misunderstood or embarrassed.
Masking in dyslexic adults
Many adults have masked for years – they have developed strategies sometimes without even realising. For an assessor it can be hard to even ‘see’ the dyslexia and they will need to be skilled in identifying issues and noticing masking strategies. For example, in a memory test, assessees are asked to repeat back numbers forwards and backwards.
An assessee may visualise these numbers in front of them or try and write them on the table with their finger. This an adaptative strategy to help them remember the numbers – they are not ‘holding them in active memory’ which is what the test is looking at. Therefore an average score in this test may be misleading. A skilled assessor would pick this up as part of the assessment. However, there are fundamental issues that a dyslexic person presents with that will be impossible to hide.
A dyslexia assessment can be very upsetting for an adult. They are being asked to do all the things they hate. They are being asked to do things they have avoided for years – it can bring back memories and remind them of struggling in school.
After a dyslexia diagnosis
It is important after a diagnosis to process how you feel about it. Talk to family and friends and explain to them the difficulties you have had. Ask for a feedback call or meeting with your assessor to talk through any questions to make sure you understand not only weaknesses but strengths too. As an assessor it can sometimes be unbelievable to see what someone has achieved in spite of such barriers. It is nice to feel validated that you have worked so hard against significant barriers. The first thing to think about, is how to stop being so hard on yourself.
Discuss with family or friends how you can make changes to your life to support your well-being and work life balance. Here are some suggestions:
- Support life admin – find ways to plan and organise meals as well as lunches so that you are well nourished and don’t need to think or plan each day. Repeat meals weekly.
- Share out jobs and chores at home and have a family planner to support this – small wipeboards and lists help.
- Set reminders on your phone to pay bills, take medications or remember things for children.
- Use a shared calendar on your phone with a partner to add appointments, joint and separate commitments and anything else date or time related.
- Try and make time for meditation – if this is not your thing then exercise works well because it’s about trying to focus your mind to be clearer- art or music may also work for you but find something that calms and resets your nervous system.
- Make sure your nutritional health is good – check that all your levels are within average range (iron, folate, vitamin D and C etc). Take a recommended dosage of vitamin D over winter. Drink the recommended amount of water.
- Take breaks during the day – a walk helps massively to reset working memory. Movement breaks help you to re focus.
- Make sure you are getting what you need at work – it’s important to have reduced work stress so you don’t become overloaded. Ask for a workplace assessment which will indicate reasonable adjustments that include technology.
- SLEEP – you must prioritise sleep and if you don’t sleep well look into the why. Do you need help with supplements like magnesium, not looking at your phone before bed, winding down accurately. Sleep deprivation will make everything more weakened and pronounced.
- Prep meals in advance, plan a weekly menu and repeat it – make three days of lunches and breakfast in advance so you don’t need to worry daily.
All of these things can make a big difference because they reduce the daily load and free up memory space so you can manage your life and work better. You deserve breaks – make sure you take them. It’s not selfish to put yourself first because you need to be the best you can be. Give yourself permission to look after yourself – put on your own mask first.
Be proud – dyslexia can mean life isn’t easy but you are doing brilliantly.
If you have any questions about dyslexia or dyslexia assessment, please get in touch.